Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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