Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
Randomize
