I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
this must be what syphilis tastes like
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
I pour the whiskey from now on
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
