For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Randomize