I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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