Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
I fill condoms, not promises.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
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