She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
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So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize