I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
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