So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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