So drunk, too bad you don't want this
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
