How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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