I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
