Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Randomize
