I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Randomize
