The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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