I wannas sexs uuuuu
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
Randomize
