it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
