A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
How naked do you want me to be?
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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