Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
Randomize
