No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Randomize
