i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize