is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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