id be glad to
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
Randomize
