Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Randomize
