oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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