I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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