brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
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