On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Randomize
