I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
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