There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
