escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Randomize
