That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Randomize
