I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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