he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
