do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
