...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
4 words: hood of his car
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Randomize
