And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
