TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
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