i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Randomize
