dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Randomize
