I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
i now understand why vodka
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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