Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
