oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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