Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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