I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
