You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
My dick has a subreddit
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
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