ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
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