no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Randomize
