We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
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