How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
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