in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
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