I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
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