are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Randomize
