If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Randomize
