You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
Randomize
